Believing that change first occurs within me and while being mindful, I notice that my own use of the word “sorry” has grown out of proportion. My sense is that it is a cover for my relational errors without providing meaning to those I may be offending. Sorry, especially when said after something I meant to say but realize the receiver is not perceiving the same message, is a most interesting practice. My words can never be returned to my mouth and extracted from one’s ears. It implies that I am not in control of my language which is never the case. While it is true that my conversation can be inhibited (or dis-inhibited) depending on how I am feeling or if I have allowed myself to be under the influence of a substance, I am still responsible for what and how I present myself.
In order to address my concern about the use of “sorry” I have created “no sorry zones” around myself through being mindful of how I influence others. I must report that when I impulsively desire to say “I’m sorry” for an infraction and instead offer a brief explanation or silence, the interactions have not been negative. Likewise, I offer this freedom to others who feel like they need to be sorry for too many normal interactions with positive results, which gives me a chance to explain why they do not have to be sorry to me for most interactions, which spreads the freedom.