Digesting Life...

Believing that change first occurs within me and while being mindful, I notice that my own use of the word “sorry” has grown out of proportion. My sense is that it is a cover for my relational errors without providing meaning to those I may be offending. Sorry, especially when said after something I meant to say but realize the receiver is not perceiving the same message, is a most interesting practice. My words can never be returned to my mouth and extracted from one’s ears. It implies that I am not in control of my language which is never the case. While it is true that my conversation can be inhibited (or dis-inhibited) depending on how I am feeling or if I have allowed myself to be under the influence of a substance, I am still responsible for what and how I present myself.

In order to address my concern about the use of “sorry” I have created “no sorry zones” around myself through being mindful of how I influence others. I must report that when I impulsively desire to say “I’m sorry” for an infraction and instead offer a brief explanation or silence, the interactions have not been negative. Likewise, I offer this freedom to others who feel like they need to be sorry for too many normal interactions with positive results, which gives me a chance to explain why they do not have to be sorry to me for most interactions, which spreads the freedom.

When parents maintain a high conflict relationship with their co-parent it causes their children undue stress which can result in acting out behaviors as well as symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Next comes the medication as they get diagnosed as being unable to focus at school, creating little zombies who a parent decides should have limited contact with that other parent who hurt them because it has to be all their fault. While the custodial parent may experience a feeling of righteous vindication the child is robbed of developing into a well balanced individual whose sense of self is fully developed.

Could you please just not act out this way for everyone's sake?

This word is often avoided with thoughts that "I just don't know how," "I can't" or "That's just the way I am." Add to that the many different ways we are told that change occurs and it might appear to be overwhelming. Desiring change in my own life, I considered whether or not I would be able to effect a change if faced with a situation of death if the change were not implemented.

There are many people who have experienced this dilemma and made choices in both directions. I have not. However, I challenge myself to think on these lines as a means to effect my personal desired change. Since changing a habit requires a resolve that occurs within my brain as part of the process, and I want to die to myself in relation to that habit, then there is no doubt that I would have to be successful. I add to this my spiritual element for support and strength. I'll let you you how it goes.